I Don’t Have a Title

“What is an Elon Musk?” -Jemma, when we were watching the scheduled launch of SpaceX (which was rescheduled.) Well, first of all, not a what, but a who… We had a good laugh about that one. My favorite moment was when he said the suits had to ” both look good and work well.” Definitely a fascinating character. Anyone could say, man you can’t respect that guy, he does so and so and his ideas are such and such. I respect the genius. He, amongst the many who make changes, (some of which are worthy, some not so worthy)  are what I would consider significant. I would consider myself an “insignificant”  (not like in God’s eyes, we are all significant etc etc.) I can’t put up my house(s) for sale to make a point nor go against the government to open up my factory. Insignificant. As I told one of my sisters, we kind of all are if we’re sitting on all the social media platforms making our opinions known, (as I am haha) but put us in any place to make a change and, insignificant. No offense to any one’s opinions. We all have the right to get it out, share, be heard blah blah… I personally like to keep some of my opinions to a small circle of people. There’s less strife.

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To this day all my kids take naps and it’s such a blessing to me. Yesterday, Peter went to get groceries while all the kids took naps at the same time! And my kitchen was transformed into a place of worship. My places of worship have become the elliptical machine (it’s become a necessity and a huge thank you to my parents for it), on the morning walks in the cool of the day, in my kitchen… Where I have cried, when I can just be in peace, where I can raise my hands in true worship.  Music in my ears, with just my chopping board and knife, carrots and onions. Yep…making one of my favorites we like to eat in our home. Of course all wake up and I’m drastically brought back to my kitchen, just a regular kitchen once again. One wakes up and stands there cranky yelling for papa at the top of the stairs(I dare not come up) , the other sits and won’t budge yelling  across the whole house… My children are sweet and I love them but moments like these, it feels like the whole of the neighborhood can hear!  I talked to my sister who has her little escape or whatnot from all the noise and commotion, after a long day with children, and I told Peter, I definitely can’t use my sister’s method. Imagine me with a cup o’ coffee on top of my cappuccino house, as I call it.  I need a she-shed. My own little escape where no one can see me and I can’t hear anyone. Pretending to be a gardener (just learning) or ponder the ways of life. Obviously, I don’t need. I’m already super thankful for all the moments I get of peace and quiet. Some people don’t even have that!

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As a christian, I can walk a very lonely path, in a world full of people. Even in a room full of “friends.”  And before any thoughts jump to “oh poor lonely Irina, all alone in Colorado…” NO, it has absolutely nothing to do with that. I am ever so grateful for my best friend God has given me here on this earth. And I am ever so grateful for the friend I have in Jesus Christ. We can lose faith in people, we can lose faith in so many things…over time, things wear on you. Health goes down the drain. The world has turned upside down… but not if we have Jesus up above the rest. Above all people, above all circumstances…above all. Not if we have sight through his eyes.  Even if just a glimpse through his eyes. And I have Jesus.

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I can’t wait to stand at the shores of the ocean (and hold my crazy beautiful niece.) I feel, oh I definitely feel for all the people who have had to give up their long awaited trips, plans, events… but oh, how I hoped by the time ours came around things would have changed so that we could still go. Not selfish. (And Vika, we won’t need a shed or the top of our house to sit and catch up. Eight years later, at the same spot!)

 I can’t wait to find if it’s another year here or there. (Dread to move, dread to stay. Relief to move, relief to stay… more on that way later….) We keep talking about it (for sooo long) but I’m actually quite at peace with it all (back to content) but still. Eeeeek.

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Cheerio

 

 

 

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