Disconnect

Sometimes I think there’s a great disconnect in what we read in the Bible and how everything we read from the Bible is lived out in our life.

(Sometimes I think there’s a great disconnect in what one speaks and what one hears.)

I’ve never seen the Bible as clear as I do at this point in my life. The things that I’ve passed through quickly, or didn’t see before, or didn’t personally apply, have become more vivid, more alive than ever before. There are characters and stories all throughout the old and new testament, and in one way or another, at one point or another, I start to identify or see how it is lived out in reality.  Take for example Abraham. Just preached about at the church I listen to. (Side note, it’s almost sad, but this is the longest time I’ve not been in a physical church in my whole entire life! I’ve practically lived in a church, or the people of church “lived” in our home, so it is one strange thing, and with Covid and moving, I don’t even know how we’ll begin that, there in Washington.)   Anyway, you read the story of Abraham and he’s told to sacrifice his one and only, long awaited son. Well, how in the world do you relate to that? If I was gonna sacrifice anyone this day and age, I’d already be on death row. So it’s not that. In my Bible reading notes, from Jan, I wrote down the words, “And he believed the Lord, and he counted it to him as righteousness.”  And all I have underlined is “believed.”  All it takes and it’s amazing. Some identify with that.

I’ve felt close to the the story where it felt like God asked, “but if I take this away, will you still believe?” And most recently, I heard something this month and it was just so timely in my own personal life. The pastor said, “It’s one of those moments where the call of God, the plan of God seems to make no sense whatsoever! What God is asking Abraham is unthinkable!” He then explained, “What God is doing is not against Abraham, it’s for Abraham. God is doing something for Abraham’s good. It doesn’t seem good. He wants to strengthen this man, he wants to beautify this man. He wants to make this man more usable…And the way he does that is by bringing the unexpected, the unwanted, the difficult, the hard into your life.” All I could say to myself was “wow!” When I feel like things around me are against me, God is actually preparing me for something in the future. And all I can wonder is what next? I often think, when you feel real close to God there are a few options…go home. Then there’s the waiting. The in-between, where you just live doing what seems like the mundane. Half or more of our life is waiting. And that’s where we identify with all the real people of the bible that waited. Years. There’s always something to do in the waiting…So what seems like a waste is not actually a waste. And then that ‘what next.’ I truly believe that if we do not allow it, nothing is wasted in our life.  Because what I went through, say ten years ago in my personal and spiritual walk of life (and all the in between), makes me who I am today. I believe there’s always something He’s doing! And he was! Here I am, ten years later seeing how it plays out…

Other ways where the Bible becomes real for me.  I might not be in that same situation, I might not be who that person is per say, I might not go through the same exact things but in one way or another they apply to my life. There’s a character in the Bible in the old testament- the Rabshakeh from Assyria, in Isaiah 36, and when I read about him I just get this terror and fear to never find myself in his place. Where he says, “The Lord said to me…” In partiality, putting his own words into the mouth of the Lord… I have this fear, to not do what’s wrong, to not go against God in any way. If it’s not biblical, I’m not part of that game… That’s just how it is. Fear of it, fear of God in that sense. I’m slow, I’ll wait, I’ll ask God to confirm, and yes, it’s more like the lack of faith and testing God, and I think it comes to the point that I have to believe because God’s been faithful before, and if I keep doubting I’m just being unbelieving.

***

Currently in life. Waiting to finalize house sale, waiting to move.

Life becomes simple when you don’t hold a grudge, forgive easily, care about what’s lasting, and look to what’s ahead without fear. Fear always tries to creep in. God is good to quiet and send peace whenever I find myself in that place. I’m happy for those who are happy. I am sad for those who are sad. I will always care, because that’s the heart God gave me.

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s