“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends  on what sort of person you are.” C.S. Lewis.

God wants to do something. God is doing something, something good. I know God is doing something in my  life but I also know I am not an isolated being. There are things, there are those connected to me. Directly, indirectly.  Those of my own choice and those not of my choice. Weather I like it or not. Weather I know of it or I’m completely oblivious to it!

I am so sure that where I am is where I need to be and not because of anything in my own head. For any reason of my own. Because every time I “walk away” He says come back.  If there was any fight left, it’s gone. (May there be no mistake I’m not talking about my marriage for those who don’t know me at all.) When I pray, “God use me! Let me be your tool!” do I really mean it? I do, with all my heart, it’s my greatest desire! Yes, I don’t know how that will come about. Yes, when the time comes all of a sudden there’s uncertainty about it. Really? Is this me or is this you God? I’m the one who needs reassurance. And then there’s the whole, “what is it that I’m actually doing! What is it that You are doing? Where is it all heading, here on earth?”

If I think even for a moment it’s about me, I will be greatly mistaken. It is a ripple effect. Stand at the water’s edge,  throw even the smallest pebble into that water and watch, as the ripples start and progress. Watch the circumference of each as they get larger and larger. And if you are that pebble or rock, you’d stand looking out at any specific direction. You will see what’s in front of you. Turn around and you once again only see what’s directly in front of you. You can’t see it all at once. Who and what that ripple will effect. How far along, how far out, exactly what impact will occur and where. It’s unknown. But it takes place.

To think, if you hear a whisper, if you hear some talk, you can not undo it. You are now part of that ripple. If God is doing something in “my” life, then whatever is connected to me is now also being used by Him to do anything He wants.


I now live where I can take a super short drive right down to the bay! I can not get over it. How  wonderful it is. And just this last Sunday, I drove out in the foggiest day I’ve seen in a very long time. It wasn’t just fog. There was also the heavy smog from all the fires in the region. Combined, it was unreal!  It’s literally driving into the unknown. You can not see what’s ahead. And there at the water’s edge, early in the morning, my heart skipped a beat! Listening to the quiet lapping of the water with the prettiest scene ever all around me. I see a boat rocking gently. I can walk on land that’s usually covered by water. I can hear barnacles crackling and popping. I’ve never heard such a thing before! There’s the lone heron I keep seeing. And the lighthouse that I thought was just a historical mark was sending out a light! I’ve never actually seen a light from a lighthouse before. Out into the dark, murky vastness, where there’s no distinction between sea and sky! But the most sweetest thing I saw was a father and son who came to fish. There they were with their fishing rods and tackle box. The boy imitating his father. What a beautiful picture.

It made me think of how I am to imitate my own Father in heaven. “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” Ephesians 5:1

My youngest, in his innocence says things like, “When I am older and I will be a mama…I will…” and “When I am older and will be a papa, I will mow the lawn…I will…” Why? He adores and loves us, he want’s to be just like us. (I do tell him he won’t be a mama btw ;))

It is a good thing to have those we admire, look up to, take example from, learn from. Even imitate. It’s in the bible. But they can not take place of Jesus.Why? Because each one will crumble and fall. Nobody can live up to what only Jesus can do. The ultimate example and one to look up to is him. (The problem with imitation is we try so hard to imitate another human, and we miss out on who we are and who we can be. We’ll fall into comparison which hinders.) Meet anyone you’ve ever admired from a distance and you’ll see how human they are. All of sudden, you speak to them and you learn they aren’t all that you made them to be in your head. They have problems, weaknesses, they’re flawed.

God has been so adamant in my life to take down anything or anyone that I ever try or have put up on a pedestal. Put a bunch of figurines on the table and label them all… Father, mother, brother, sister, dreams, ideals, career, love, relationships, family, finances, institutions,  beauty, health, position, status… Some of them will just wobble and fall over on their own. Some, you bump the table and they’ll fall. And some, as if with a finger, they will be flicked over. Plink, plink, plink…one by one until there’s only one figure left. And try as you might, to flick it over, grab it, pull on it, it’ll be as if it was super glued to that table. It just won’t budge. And if you look at the label on that figure it will have ‘Jesus’ on it. The only one left. That is what God has done for me in my life. When all else will cease to be, He will still be there.

What do we do when we put people or things up on mental pedestals? We eventually put such expectation on them. We don’t let them teeter totter. We don’t let them fail or falter. We criticize every word, every action, every look, until we ourselves break them down. Nobody should be under such pressure but that’s what it becomes.

I certainly wouldn’t want to be put up on such a pedestal!

Instead, by imitating Christ, I can do what he does. Take them off that mental pedestal and come alongside. Love those people. Show compassion, mercy, grace…Be patient. (even in confrontation.)


If I ever was a nerd, I’ve become an even greater nerd. A biblical nerd. At the ocean in June, I hear a sermon and I have to read a whole paper on who preached, what method was used, who the audience was, what did the audience believe, and what was preached. And then I sit and think, God you are too good. I have to look up things, read articles…search within the Bible.  Say the word propitiation and I will look it up again and again!  It’s as if I’ve plummeted down once again into learning. If I ever learned things by way of life, now I’m definitely seeing it more clearly with head knowledge to go along with that. To understand, to grasp completely, to wrap my mind around it. To see it come alive! I’m thankful for all the people who spend their life researching, learning, teaching, speaking… I’m so thankful I live in a time that if I can’t sit in a class and learn, I can turn it on my phone and read or listen. Learning always.





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